There was a time - G'n'R

Posted by Jay-talking! |1 comments

Old but abz "kick-ass" ditty from Axl Rose. Been listening to it many times over the last few days. Matches my mood to the T. T as in "There was a Time".

Broken glass and cigarettes,
writing on the wall,
it was a bargain for the summer,
and I thought I had it all.
I was the one who gave you everything,
the one who took the fall,
you were the one who would do anything,
the one who can't recall.

Where she was while she was sleeping,
in another woman's bed,
or the doctors or the lawyers,
or a stranger that she met.
If there's nothing I can gain from this,
or anything at all,
it'd be the knowledge that ya gave me,
when I thought I'd heard it all.

It was a long time for you,
it was a long time for me,
it'd be a long time for anyone,
but looks like it's meant to be.

Social class and registers,
cocaine in the hall,
all the way from California,
on the way to your next call
to those non-negotiations,
to simulate a call,
all the bad of learning evils and
your ways around the laws
that keep you UP AND sitting pretty,
on a pedestal of MEN
and now you're sleeping like an angel,
near the man who you give head

If there's something I can make of this,
or anything at all,
it'd be the devil hates a loser and
you thought you had it all.

It was a wrong time for you,
it was a wrong time for me,
it was the wrong time for everyone
but looks like I’ve got to see for myself

If I could go back in time to the place
in my soul, there all alone,
lonely tear drops,
ooh, are calling you.
but I don't wanna know it now,
'cause knowing you it won't it change a damn thing.
but there was a time.

yeah, there was a time,
didn't wanna know it all,
didn't wanna know it all and
I don't wanna know it now,

yeah, there was a time,
didn't wanna know it all,
didn't wanna know it all and
I don't wanna know it now,

Oh, I would do anything for you,
there was a time,
I would do anything for you,
oh, I would do anything for you,
there was a time.

My own domain!

Posted by Jay-talking! |2 comments

No rising dawn, no dark of night;
No shadows dancing in the bright sunlight;

No fear of loss, no fear of pain;
As I walk my own domain!

No scorching Sun can stop the Me;
No desert mirages, deceiving eyes that see;

No thunder, lightning or falling rain;
As I walk my own domain!

No friends, no foes, no kith or kin;
No vice or virtue nor devilish sin;

No bombs nor bullets to drive me insane;
No repentant past to put a stain;
No glum defeat nor glory in gain;
As I walk my own domain!!

A Never Ending Game

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Mere mortals as we are, how can we fathom your Play?
As foolishly we seek to immortalize our Name,
Time rolls on through Yesterday & Today,
And Death is just a pause in a never ending game!!

Rebels without a pause!!

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Deluded as we are, how do You save the day?
For each Man is “right” in his mind, so how do you make him pay
For all his sins , when there’s no moment to pause
In the Race run everyday, we are all rebels without a cause!!

Benjarong!!

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Given a chance to choose a good eatout in Chennai for exotic fare (exotic being Chinese veg, Thai veg or continental veg - in that order) I must confess to being slightly stumped. The idea was to have a good time over lunch with a friend and the easiest one to decide on was “Mainland China” (too predictable, wot? And of course a peck on the chef’s forehead with words like “the best Chinese I have tasted …..” was hardly my idea of breaking bread with a friend).

Then I remembered having passed by this Thai restaurant several times on my way to office . Seemed correctly discreet and refined in terms of location and ambience from the outside.

“Benjarong” - with such an exotic sounding name conjuring up images of some Oriental getaway, I got cracking on the good ol’ net across the “burrps” and “smacks” of the virtual world and learned that the joint’s got an enviable reputation to boot. Talking to friends who raved about the place, we decided that Benjarong – it must be.

As I entered the place with just that wee bit of hesitation, I noticed that the place looked quite smallish to me in terms of space and also a bit shorn of lighting (not sure if it helps the ambience). But then I was also greeted by a beautiful reclining Buddha statue and some other Thai curios in the waiting room. With some time to go before my friend arrived, I gleaned more of the Thai couple that runs the place.

The main course started off with their customary Thai appetizer – an array of side dishes with the main attraction being the spinach leaves (as explained by our attendant) stuffed with peanuts, jaggery pasted and dry coconut crumbs. Though I had heard of this speciality, I wasn’t too sure – me being of the “if grass is for cows, leaves are for the orangutans” fame. Ditto for my partner. But then it wasn’t all that bad and we quite liked it. So on we moved to the next course – weren’t helped by the fact that the waiters seemed just a little preoccupied with themselves – they seemed almost relieved to learn that we could converse in Hindi – but of course that didn’t help improve communication either. Of course, we ordered the customary Thai curries with some fried rice – time teases my memory but I think we ordered the Tom Yum Soup as well. But then again, as luck would have it, I couldn’t quite finish the dish by itself. Tasted all too familiar to me and not the mouth watering, tongue smacking, palate tickling fare that I had settled in for. Maybe some other time – with a better setting and a better ambience, it would be right. But for now, it was so Benja-“wrong”!!

THE (W)HOLE TRUTH OF LIFE

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‘Tis a hollow lie often hung out as true,
Incessant harping gives it a shape anew,
That its true even in this Time & Space,
The indelible lie that Life is just a Race;
A Blind one too for money & for fame,
And to each person - his own game,

So hold your horses and just take a pause
To consider the fact of stones rolling with no moss,
And one fine day to wake up & find
Lost chances galore & memories left behind.
The earth goes around without remorse,
Staying still & steady on its course;

And Life laughs at our efforts vain,
To navigate Its turns and stay on par
Playing for minimum loss & maximum gain,
With the sure knowledge that we all are,
Even as It plays us out in grand pantomime
Destined to lose the battle with Time!!

Good Lord, why do I pray?
If Death is just an ordinary Day
In the calendars of those who wept,
for words unsaid and promises unkept,
for a better time that’s already passed,
And for a better memory to forever last!

So we go on with counting our pebbles & stones,
Refusing to let our minds be open & see,
That Life is more than just bricks & bones,
Know this Truth & set yourself Free!!

GOD BLESS!!

We didn't start the fire!!

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We didn’t start the fire..it was always burning since the world’s been turning ….we didn’t start the fire!!!

Marriages are now TV shows
Dimpi just got a “reality” dose
Rahul M beat her black & blue
Wait there’s more to come
‘Coz now Rakhi S is married too!!

Then of course there’s this CWG bloke
“Suresh Kalmadi?” – oh what a joke!!
The people though didn’t find it funny
That our man simply blew up lotsa money
On leaking roofs and rainy grounds,
And used equipment for a quarter million pounds!!

Which brings us to another sticky wicket
And a sham called IPL and a game called “Cricket” !! (sounds familiar, doesn’t it?)
M/s Humpty Dumpty, I mean, M/s Modi & Pawar,
Turned the game into a bidding war

“Pawar Modi sat on the IPL
Pawar Modi gave the TV stations hell
And now all the twitter followers and all the Facebook fans
Cannot make Modi the IPL ‘czar’ again!!”

So everybody’s in the “Game” for Fame
And who cares a damn if The nation’s shamed…

And then we bring you the other “news”
As stale as the waste in yesterday’s refuse!!

Of Kashmir burning yet again,
And leaving a trail of blood & pain,
Of the solar Tsunami and never ending rain
And Lalit Modi and what his lawyer’s sayin’
Of Tharoor driving SM Krishna insane
And the shortage of water and rotting foodgrain!!
Of the India SL Test affected by rain,
And Sachin scoring a century again!! (yawwwwwn…)

Of MS Dhoni and his new bride,
And Maoist Naxals running wild,
Of how the two warring Senas lied,
About the North Indians spreading malaria awide!
Of bribes and RS MPs crossing sides,
And Amit Shah finding a place to hide!!
Of Saina being India’s pride,
And SM Krishna being taken for a ride!! (literally)

Of twitter wars and party nights,
And Bombay’s flooded with mosquito bites
Of gang rapes in metros and the violation of rights,
Of the growing Mumbai mafia gang might!!

Of the Indo Pak talks, and the Qureshi – Krishna farce
And in replies to Krishna, of Qureshi saying “Kiss my a..e?”

“Ba Ba Qureshi, have you got Dawood?
Yes, Sir & No, Sir!! Of course, all this is bull!!
Telling lies all the time, telling lies is our game!!
Of course we don’t shelter Osama too, who lives down in the plains!! (oops!!)”

And dear reader, if you think this tomfoolery’s over, please do not be pained!!
In this age of “anything sells”, just sit back on your couch & be entertained!!

Angel - Amma, Devi, Mata

Posted by Jay-talking! |1 comments

My second in the trilogy after ‘Avatar – Faith, Delusion & Salvation’. All of this has been inspired by a flurry of visits to several temples over the last month or so, the last visit being designed by Providence – the Jeevandani temple in Virar, Mumbai. On our drive , we had passed a temple on a hillock with the Sanskrit words “Om” splendidly carved out of the green grass of the hills. Wondering whether we would get to visit the temple – given the distance and the time factor plus we had no idea how to reach it. As Luck would have it, the person we were visiting was not available for the next 4 hours and we were advised by him over phone to visit the same temple for a darshan of the Devi.

The first letters of each stanza spell out the 3 names by which the Goddess is fondly worshipped – Amma, Devi & Mata.

Angel – Amma, Devi, Mata

Are You that Angel, from your mouth spitting Fire?
Maybe the Serpent that hisses to scare,
Marking the end of each dark desire,
And threatening to lay deep secrets threadbare?

Diva, are You enchanting Your own Dance,
Even as the demigods stare with untempered Awe?
Verily a Goddess lost in Your own trance,
Inspiring the Life Force to become Primal Law!!

Mere mortals as we are, how can we fathom your Play?
As foolishly we seek to immortalize our Name,

Time rolls relentlessly through yesterdays & todays,
And Death is just a pause in a never ending game!!

Aum...!!

Avatar - Faith, Delusion & Salvation

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In the morose backdrop of the newspaper headlines over the last few days blaring at me from every nook of Life - a neighbor’s door in Bangalore, a casual look at a cousin’s place in Chennai, at a teashop on the road to Bangalore while filling gas, the first thing home on television when back from work – these lines flashed before me. Inspired enough to add some more to it!! Humbled enough to dedicate it to the Great Force surrounding us all , indeed ‘within' us all – call IT whatever – “God”, “Brahmn”, “Sat-Chit-Ananda”, “the Holy Trinity”, “Purusha & Prakriti”, “Great Allah”, “Jesus” or “Christforce”!!

This poem is broken up into 3 parts – much like the story of Life and its myriad touches

Avatar – Faith, Delusion & Salvation

Faith
Through every sacred text and its hoary pages,
Through every myth rolled down the ages,
Through every story sold down the ages,
And through every truth told by the sages,

One Legend is spoken of; one day will ring true,
The promise of Redemption; the Great Rescue!!
The moment doth arrive, the great bards do saith,
With great pomp & ceremony to renew your faith!!

So sound the bugles and make thy way
For Lo Behold, the Avatar will now hold sway
A new dawn awakens, a new Order takes place,
A new messiah arises, to protect the Race!

Vanquishing the Evil forces, the Winner will stand tall,
Raise your weapons to the sky and herald their downfall!!

Delusion
Is it true, my Lord that ‘tis just about the survival of the Strong?
Whose side are You on when there’s no difference between Right and Wrong?

Deluded as we are, how do You seek to save the day?
For each Man is “right” in his mind, so how do you make him pray
For all the sins and all those deeds, when there’s no moment to pause
in the Race that we run every day, we are all rebels without a cause!!

Where’s the time for prayers, milord, in the age of ‘hook-or-crook’,
Sin & Virtue are just morals in a story, mere pages out of a book!
To learn by rote and score more marks in a test,
Success is measured by lucre here and power defines the best!

Salvation
Hallelujah, hallelujah, the Truth has dawned, the Truth so plain,
Bursting forth like clear sunshine and drops of the morning rain!!

The Avatar grants His Vision at Last, the Vision of Truth, the Vision Itself
Blessed, thrice blessed are we, for this Gift of Knowledge bestowed upon these humble selves!

“Shun all doubts and receive this Truth, lift your spirits and receive My Grace,
Life is just a game of some wins, some losses and a number of days,

Believe in Yourself and take pride in what You do,
And walk on this earth like mankind was meant to!

Right or wrong, virtue or vice, if you doubt which road to take,
Just stand before a mirror and touch your heart, ‘tis Your choice to make!!”

Amen!!!

The idea of happiness - mind garblings

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What is it like to feel inspired all the time? What will keep you going all the time? Is it the drive to become great, rich, powerful, famous (and all that clichéd blah) or is it just the simple pleasure of happiness? Pursuit of happiness? What’s the basic fulcrum around which the whole idea of your happiness revolves? Is it just an abstract idea that you can recall to memory, summon at will or is it an ideal that entices you, mesmerizes you without your realizing it – you savor in the experience without realizing the treasure that you hold at the moment – only to soak in the memories on hindsight and wishing for an encore.

Again, somedays you feel melancholic. There is no logic to how this feeling rests in your heart. It just happens. Some subconscious long lost memory activated, some basic expectation dashed, some raw nerve touched tangentially, some uncomfortable truths that you refuse to face. No matter what, the reason seems a little out of reach. You can NOT possibly objectivize it.

Every day is a growth in terms of ideas, experiences, learnings & emotional development. Every day is a change; challenge is only to change for the better. Everyday as Life goes on, you create a personality around you which you believe is strong enough to withstand any blow – physical or otherwise – from whichever source. You feel the strength in your heart to bear out every worst case scenario imagined, worked out and worried upon to death in your mind. You would have already worked out the degree of difficulty in bearing every calamity and rest assured in the knowledge that you are prepared for any outcome, any eventuality – the happening of which becomes only a formality and then you term it as Growth or Experience or Life indeed.

In short if Life is a battle, you are prepared for the sledgehammer impact. Then from nowhere –out of the blues – something hits you and you are not the YOU anymore. It happens. Some loss … of emotions, of individuality, of Time and its relative impact on you, of a dream and of a vision. Then again some days, something happens that moves you. Touches you and creates faith. Someday – the euphoria of joy engulfs you. Nothing can stop you. Wow, can you hear the lion roar inside your heart?

Which are the days you remember most, which are the feelings that stay with you?

After all what’s Life if not seen from your perspective? Everything that you see, hear, touch, smell & hold is Yours. It’s a singular unique experience. Nothing and no one can describe it for you. The understanding of the whole self and indeed of the whole Universe is within the ME and within the YOU!! Getting used to the experience of Life? Time to ponder?

This here is Life. Life, as it is, starts NOW. Right here. This moment. In total exclusion to the rest of Life if it were just a measure of Time. No sweat. Don’t blink now. Face it as it is. Enjoy the newness of the moment. OMFG!! God’s awesome !!

The Lessons of Life

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At the crossroads of my Life - when I came to Chennai on a supposedly semi-permanent assignment singing “Pudhiya Vaanam..Pudhiya Bhoomi” a la MGR on the streets of Chennai with bags in tow, I half expected every mama, maami, chitappa, chitti, atthai & athimber to pose the same questions out of concern. After all, my status was OBSOLETE……. (Overaged Bachelor Still On Lookout Ennada Time (evalovu) Eduppe?) But there you have it on the plate.

So I decided that the best way to deal with this issue (after all everybody’s conscience pricks) ……. I should maybe fall in love …..with every unmarried girl that I met at every nook n corner of this journey of Time…tricking her into saying “I do” to every inane question that I asked and slowly creating the nerve-wracking nail-biting build up to the Big Q… on bended knee. But then this is Chennai..what? The harbinger of old traditions and the defiant yet proud self anointed protector of the customs of yore. So there you have it…the mission was doomed to fail even before it started. You could be forgiven for thinking of going the celibate way. Getting philo abt Life and the cosmos!! Oh wth, the lure of the Himalayan caves v/s the alleged “stability” of wedlock and still be a rat ( I mean..as part of the race)!!

No choice you see coz given the history of my Life and the geography of my current location and the biology associated with my age, the maths (ok..thats enuf for now!!) is pretty simple. So there you are still learning the English…I mean, the nursery rhymes with a Twist!!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Single, Single Bachelor Man,

How we wonder whether you can

Search the world for a suitable bride,

Surely find one if you look far & wide!!

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Show, Show, Show your palm

To quacks n astrologers galore

The charts will reveal your future, Son

And Tell you whats in store!!

Johnny Johnny Yes Papa

Jagan, Jagan…Yes, Appa?

Looking at prospective brides?… Yes, Appa!!

Telling Lies….. No, Appa!!

Show me her horo

Ah…Ah…Aargh!!

Itsy Bitsy Angsty...

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Cobwebs in my mind
Music playing in my head
Sleepless nights have passed me by
And Life’s hanging by a slim thread
Symphonic score in the background
The Seas are asking questions
Waves beat down on me
Their sound calming me up
Where else would you welcome
Noises that relax you?
Sweeping music they would call it
Or sometimes words unexpressed
The Sun is a Deity
To be a full Man under it
And Bear the Legacy
Of Those that have borne it before
And Those that will rise again
And the skies are a canvas too
To look up at and admire
Day night day night
The sun, the stars evening twilight
Then they gift the rain to us
With Thunderstorm & lightning
Sometimes you feel they laugh at Us
Sometimes you feel their Scorn
Oh..I feel so good today
To feel the feel of water on my face
As it trickles down your neck
Your mobile phone rings, Oh heck!!
Playing a tune that was once so dear to you
How stale it sounds now
Like a thing of yesterday
Whats going on with Life?
Easy Come, Easy Go, is it?
Or is it just the passage of Time
Whats the abstract meaning of the whole existence
Sometimes you feel like banging your head
Against an imaginary post
And slow down on your pace of Life
Dude, you are running Nowhere!!

Avatar - a road less traveled

Posted by Jay-talking! |3 comments

Watching “Avatar” at a suburban movie hall in Mumbai over the weekend, I was reminded of the debate that I had with my cousin last year. My cousin is a big fan of Peter Schiff – an intellectual but bearish analyst in the US – and felt that the danger gongs have already sounded for the US and now that it was upto China & India to take its rightful & eminent place in the world.

I say – more strength to the developing world – but where’s the so called bugle? For any country to establish itself in a competitive market, it needs to be top of the pops in terms of innovative products, global leadership in industry & entrepreneurial spirit – all of which is lacking sorely in India at least. After all the two best contributions from India over the last decade have been the Tata Nano and the 20-20 IPL tourney ONLY (and I welcome a debate on this); and again with the Tata Nano scoring on costs only and not in terms of any innovation. In a recessionary environment, cost control products do soar. But what sets the pulses absolutely going bonkers is new ideas & new products. Something like the i-pod. Something like HD TV. Something like 3D movies (which are not anaglyph only). It’s the spirit of adventurism that has led so many people in the West to innovate and consistently put out products in the market that dazzle. Of course, the Chinese put out a cheap imitation of the same product in the market within 24 hours (alas…copyright is no longer secure in the modern web world). But then logic dictates that the “me too” products will consistently have a lesser shelf life the guys who will score in the long run are those to whom belong the new ideas.

Coming back to India – what happened to "dared to dream bigger", "dared to dream different" "dared to dream at all"? Why is it that we always claim the discovery of '0' as the single biggest achievement in every email forward that supposedly extols the greatness of India? Somebody had the audacity to invent the wheel, somebody dared to create film, somebody dreamed to fly and now we have a man on the moon!! The most audacious, daring and magical moments in the history of mankind - every step that has created a milestone in human progress - and we have only the Tata Nano!! How can a nation of so many millions have such limited time for ideas on anything including sport? You will notice that its only the past that is heralded about India - not the present - the future is a hope, a spirit, a dream. Some like to cling to tradition & culture. But even those ardent lovers of the past - when they are asked to paint a picture of the future - think of magical things and do not think of the current status quo. Seems like a duplicity there, isnt it? The future can and has to be different but we refuse to change the present!! I think the only way to change the system is to educate. Education inculcates civic values - we need cleaner roads; moral values - some less corruption please!!;a new breed of thinkers - sigh..for some more magical inventions;a new competitiveness - more people, more kicks in the ass, right? simple logic!! Educate - for free perhaps - but do it as a gift to the future - as a hope for the country that we live in - as gratitude for everything that your country has given to you.


But anyway not losing the nub - face it! The guy who made ‘Hum Aapke Hain Kaun’ – a big & grand phillum about a lavish wedding, and supposedly the biggest BO king in India of its times – then went on to make more phillums on …… you guessed right… lavish-er weddings. Where’s the adventure in tried & tested formulae? That’s why you should go & watch ‘Avatar’ – not for the e factor alone – but maybe just to salute the spirit in which the film was made. Its not about doomed romances in sinking ships – cos that would have been the easier route to take. It’s the road less traveled – carrying a reputational risk and lotsa money riding on it – but with the air of self - confidence - of pulling it off. Thrilling in spirit …. and on film too!!