SubscribeSorry…really, Sorry!
Sometimes you find that no language has the words quite able to express one’s guilt or remorse in the same vein as the feelings in your heart. There are depths of emotion which we strive to communicate through the words of an undeveloped medium of communication. In that sense, the word “Sorry” probably stands for the greatest range of emotions that one can feel. One single word to stand for such a plane of feelings does not seem fair. But that’s how it stands.
Sometimes also, one also comes across situations when you feel the need to take a stand either for or against the self vis-à-vis a greater cause in which others’ feelings are immutably attached. In such a case, to take a decision either way seems very painful. Its catch 22! Simplistically, you can either subserve your own desires and make a heroic sacrifice or you can take a strong non-emotional stand on issues. I have found that there is only one way to approach such questions in Life. Think!! Think!! Think through it – logically, emotionally, of the people involved, of the lesser good, of the greater good and always believe that you have to take a proper stand – make the correct decision. On hindsight, I feel we cannot view any issue very simply and reduce it to a self interest v/s other interest tussle. You consider the time – present & the future, the possibilities – positive and negative, the repercussions – immediate and farreaching, the morals and ethics – have a strong dispassionate sense on this. Ultimately you have to take a decision. Say, to or not to cut off a potter’s infected arms so that he may live for a longer time – for his family, for an alternative profession, for varied desires and dreams – will always be a difficult choice.
But can one deny the guilt involved for the hurt a decision causes (irrespective of whether this decision has probably saved more hurt in future – irrespective of whether this decision is probably the least painful given the grand design of Nature – irrespective of whether this was the last opportunity to take that decision and could not have been postponed)? No. One cannot deny the guilt – because there were opportunities in the past to have taken a decision with less painful effects– because one could have handled things better – because one could have protected someone’s dignity and honour in a more proper way – because one should learn to be firm and clear at all times and all places in dealing with people, communicating with people, reaching out a message and not be iffy about things.
And that’s why for all the hurt, for all the embarrassment, for all the unintended pain, for every single moment that hope was held out, for every dream presented that turned out to be a mirage, for the regret of feeling the way one feels to have caused a hurtful decision, for all the other things felt guilty for and no apologies asked for, for the big, BIG mea culpa, and also for the wretched limited vocabulary of the English language because these 3 words do not seem to quite make the cut – I am sorry!!
Sometimes you find that no language has the words quite able to express one’s guilt or remorse in the same vein as the feelings in your heart. There are depths of emotion which we strive to communicate through the words of an undeveloped medium of communication. In that sense, the word “Sorry” probably stands for the greatest range of emotions that one can feel. One single word to stand for such a plane of feelings does not seem fair. But that’s how it stands.
Sometimes also, one also comes across situations when you feel the need to take a stand either for or against the self vis-à-vis a greater cause in which others’ feelings are immutably attached. In such a case, to take a decision either way seems very painful. Its catch 22! Simplistically, you can either subserve your own desires and make a heroic sacrifice or you can take a strong non-emotional stand on issues. I have found that there is only one way to approach such questions in Life. Think!! Think!! Think through it – logically, emotionally, of the people involved, of the lesser good, of the greater good and always believe that you have to take a proper stand – make the correct decision. On hindsight, I feel we cannot view any issue very simply and reduce it to a self interest v/s other interest tussle. You consider the time – present & the future, the possibilities – positive and negative, the repercussions – immediate and farreaching, the morals and ethics – have a strong dispassionate sense on this. Ultimately you have to take a decision. Say, to or not to cut off a potter’s infected arms so that he may live for a longer time – for his family, for an alternative profession, for varied desires and dreams – will always be a difficult choice.
But can one deny the guilt involved for the hurt a decision causes (irrespective of whether this decision has probably saved more hurt in future – irrespective of whether this decision is probably the least painful given the grand design of Nature – irrespective of whether this was the last opportunity to take that decision and could not have been postponed)? No. One cannot deny the guilt – because there were opportunities in the past to have taken a decision with less painful effects– because one could have handled things better – because one could have protected someone’s dignity and honour in a more proper way – because one should learn to be firm and clear at all times and all places in dealing with people, communicating with people, reaching out a message and not be iffy about things.
And that’s why for all the hurt, for all the embarrassment, for all the unintended pain, for every single moment that hope was held out, for every dream presented that turned out to be a mirage, for the regret of feeling the way one feels to have caused a hurtful decision, for all the other things felt guilty for and no apologies asked for, for the big, BIG mea culpa, and also for the wretched limited vocabulary of the English language because these 3 words do not seem to quite make the cut – I am sorry!!
2 comments:
Hi OMM! U hav some interesting thoughts...I think I understnad ur position. Is this cathartic or apologetic? I can only say- "A stich in time saves nine" & it pays to "look b4 u leap"...
Hey Jagan,
Good Wishes to you and wish you a wonderful 2007.
Venkat
www.meetspouse.com
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