The Lessons of Life

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At the crossroads of my Life - when I came to Chennai on a supposedly semi-permanent assignment singing “Pudhiya Vaanam..Pudhiya Bhoomi” a la MGR on the streets of Chennai with bags in tow, I half expected every mama, maami, chitappa, chitti, atthai & athimber to pose the same questions out of concern. After all, my status was OBSOLETE……. (Overaged Bachelor Still On Lookout Ennada Time (evalovu) Eduppe?) But there you have it on the plate.



So I decided that the best way to deal with this issue (after all everybody’s conscience pricks) ……. I should maybe fall in love …..with every unmarried girl that I met at every nook n corner of this journey of Time…tricking her into saying “I do” to every inane question that I asked and slowly creating the nerve-wracking nail-biting build up to the Big Q… on bended knee. But then this is Chennai..what? The harbinger of old traditions and the defiant yet proud self anointed protector of the customs of yore. So there you have it…the mission was doomed to fail even before it started. You could be forgiven for thinking of going the celibate way. Getting philo abt Life and the cosmos!! Oh wth, the lure of the Himalayan caves v/s the alleged “stability” of wedlock and still be a rat ( I mean..as part of the race)!!



No choice you see coz given the history of my Life and the geography of my current location and the biology associated with my age, the maths (ok..thats enuf for now!!) is pretty simple. So there you are still learning the English…I mean, the nursery rhymes with a Twist!!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star


Single, Single Bachelor Man,

How we wonder whether you can

Search the world for a suitable bride,

Surely find one if you look far & wide!!


Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Show, Show, Show your palm

To quacks n astrologers galore

The charts will reveal your future, Son

And Tell you whats in store!!

Johnny Johnny Yes Papa

Jagan, Jagan…Yes, Appa?

Looking at prospective brides?… Yes, Appa!!

Telling Lies….. No, Appa!!

Show me her horo

Ah…Ah…Aargh!!

Itsy Bitsy Angsty...

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Cobwebs in my mind
Music playing in my head
Sleepless nights have passed me by
And Life’s hanging by a slim thread
Symphonic score in the background
The Seas are asking questions
Waves beat down on me
Their sound calming me up
Where else would you welcome
Noises that relax you?
Sweeping music they would call it
Or sometimes words unexpressed
The Sun is a Deity
To be a full Man under it
And Bear the Legacy
Of Those that have borne it before
And Those that will rise again
And the skies are a canvas too
To look up at and admire
Day night day night
The sun, the stars evening twilight
Then they gift the rain to us
With Thunderstorm & lightning
Sometimes you feel they laugh at Us
Sometimes you feel their Scorn
Oh..I feel so good today
To feel the feel of water on my face
As it trickles down your neck
Your mobile phone rings, Oh heck!!
Playing a tune that was once so dear to you
How stale it sounds now
Like a thing of yesterday
Whats going on with Life?
Easy Come, Easy Go, is it?
Or is it just the passage of Time
Whats the abstract meaning of the whole existence
Sometimes you feel like banging your head
Against an imaginary post
And slow down on your pace of Life
Dude, you are running Nowhere!!

Avatar - a road less traveled

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Watching “Avatar” at a suburban movie hall in Mumbai over the weekend, I was reminded of the debate that I had with my cousin last year. My cousin is a big fan of Peter Schiff – an intellectual but bearish analyst in the US – and felt that the danger gongs have already sounded for the US and now that it was upto China & India to take its rightful & eminent place in the world.

I say – more strength to the developing world – but where’s the so called bugle? For any country to establish itself in a competitive market, it needs to be top of the pops in terms of innovative products, global leadership in industry & entrepreneurial spirit – all of which is lacking sorely in India at least. After all the two best contributions from India over the last decade have been the Tata Nano and the 20-20 IPL tourney ONLY (and I welcome a debate on this); and again with the Tata Nano scoring on costs only and not in terms of any innovation. In a recessionary environment, cost control products do soar. But what sets the pulses absolutely going bonkers is new ideas & new products. Something like the i-pod. Something like HD TV. Something like 3D movies (which are not anaglyph only). It’s the spirit of adventurism that has led so many people in the West to innovate and consistently put out products in the market that dazzle. Of course, the Chinese put out a cheap imitation of the same product in the market within 24 hours (alas…copyright is no longer secure in the modern web world). But then logic dictates that the “me too” products will consistently have a lesser shelf life the guys who will score in the long run are those to whom belong the new ideas.

Coming back to India – what happened to "dared to dream bigger", "dared to dream different" "dared to dream at all"? Why is it that we always claim the discovery of '0' as the single biggest achievement in every email forward that supposedly extols the greatness of India? Somebody had the audacity to invent the wheel, somebody dared to create film, somebody dreamed to fly and now we have a man on the moon!! The most audacious, daring and magical moments in the history of mankind - every step that has created a milestone in human progress - and we have only the Tata Nano!! How can a nation of so many millions have such limited time for ideas on anything including sport? You will notice that its only the past that is heralded about India - not the present - the future is a hope, a spirit, a dream. Some like to cling to tradition & culture. But even those ardent lovers of the past - when they are asked to paint a picture of the future - think of magical things and do not think of the current status quo. Seems like a duplicity there, isnt it? The future can and has to be different but we refuse to change the present!! I think the only way to change the system is to educate. Education inculcates civic values - we need cleaner roads; moral values - some less corruption please!!;a new breed of thinkers - sigh..for some more magical inventions;a new competitiveness - more people, more kicks in the ass, right? simple logic!! Educate - for free perhaps - but do it as a gift to the future - as a hope for the country that we live in - as gratitude for everything that your country has given to you.


But anyway not losing the nub - face it! The guy who made ‘Hum Aapke Hain Kaun’ – a big & grand phillum about a lavish wedding, and supposedly the biggest BO king in India of its times – then went on to make more phillums on …… you guessed right… lavish-er weddings. Where’s the adventure in tried & tested formulae? That’s why you should go & watch ‘Avatar’ – not for the e factor alone – but maybe just to salute the spirit in which the film was made. Its not about doomed romances in sinking ships – cos that would have been the easier route to take. It’s the road less traveled – carrying a reputational risk and lotsa money riding on it – but with the air of self - confidence - of pulling it off. Thrilling in spirit …. and on film too!!

Fring Fring

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The decision of going in for a new cellphone has its fair share of heartburn!! Nobody likes to be on the wrong side of GPRS, UTMS, EDGE, F…. and such other other 4-letter words in English that are never quite clarified on print. So there you go…browsing the net keen to be on the right side of technology and the righter side of costs!!
The net…trusty ol' net - you come out with gems every time you surf the so called info hiway.
When my sister used to call from UK using an application called 'fring', I never gave it much thought considering it to be one of those things available on the other side of the equator. But was jolted out of my apathetic senses when I found that fring works in India and HOW? Seems almost every other mobile set is compatible with Fring.
And with phones equipped with wireless Lan or WLAN as the initated call it, you have it made, mate!! It converts your wifi gadgets to VOIP gadgets making cellphones look silly. And especially when your cellphone is wifi enabled, Fring allows you to make international calls over internet thru your cellphone - all FREE to all your online mates. This too across different IM sites like Skype, Google Talk and Net Messenger. I had refused to be enticed by "chatting" software on mobile till it enabled voice funcationality. Seems this technology arrived YESTERDAY when life was busy in everyday office work.
That creepy feeling ….when you feel you are losing touch with the unreal reality of the modern world!! Ready for a fring?

The cool factor - Anaglyph art in 3D

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Remember 'Chhota Chetan'? The 3D film that captured the imagination of an entire generation!! "We Were Young & Innocent Then!!" A few days back just for the heck of it, I e-bayed for 3D stuff. Sure enough, I found a vendor in distant Kolkata peddling 3D Anaglyph glasses for Rs. 35/- per pair with a add-on of a cheap 3D DVD at around 300 bucks. So I ordered for it and revelled in the 3D adventures of 'Sharkboy & Lavagirl".

Though the fine print claimed it would work only on a regular desktop screen (CRT for the IT- inclined), I found it to be effective on both laptop and my LCD desktop at home. Ok! Hooked! Now onto the next step! Salivating for some free stuff now (Its bad, its evil - learn to pay for your stuff!! But hey...WTH!!). Hurrah..Hallelujah...Eureka & the whole works!! Some very cool 3D images on the net that work real smooth and are great for some abstract timepass. Of course, so many downloadable comics in 3D anaglyph format - again a great pastime!


The cool factor in this and the reason for so much English - freeware on the net that allows you to convert all your images & videos into 3D anaglyph format. Tried it for fun! Glad to report it works pretty cool!! Reproducing some of the 3D images I downloaded as well as some of my own work on 3D. Go get your 3D glasses!

Freakin funny!!

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Prabhu Deva never had the going so good. All because of a man who's probably never heard of him. Hard to believe but Prabhu Deva aka Benny Lava (vide a popular concept called "buffalaxing") has become so popular they are selling Benny Lava T-shirts as an ode to the man who will probably go down as one of the best entertainers of our time unwittingly.Thats the charming part.

This concept was pretty popular on MTV sometime back. I have laughed my guts out whenever I have seen any of these videos. They used to show very popular South Indian numbers and give literal twisted hindi subtitles for the lyrics of the songs. The effect was always very innovative and very very funny. I never knew they had a word for this - "buffalaxed" - expressed it quite nicely here - "words or phrases misheard in ways that yield new meanings. "

Check out these videos. Will try posting them soon!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyC1BrQd6g
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Happy New Year!!

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For the uninitiated / agnostic / atheistic / faithless / faithful / religious / spiritual / metaphyhsical / ascetic / gypsic / nomadic / reconverted / reborn Thamizhans and of course, to the rest of the world, a very Happy Pongal to all of you!!

And also to all the rest of you 21st century naivetes, who think that Pongal is Women's day in Tamil ("after all Pon & Gal mean one & the same thing, mate!"), get real, dudes!!

Thought of junking up the net for some nostalgic Pongal songs (confession: more for the reminiscences rather than the culture) and voila, here you go...

1st day
maargazhi(th) thingaL madhi niRaindha nannaaLaalneeraada(p) pOdhuveer pOdhuminO nErizhaiyeerseer malgum aayppaadi(ch) chelva(ch) chiRumeergaaLkoorvEl kodundhozhilan nandhagOpan kumaranEraarndha kaNNi yasOdhai iLam singamkaar mEni cengaN kadhir madhiyam pOl mugaththaannaaraayaNanE namakkE paRai tharuvaanpaarOr pugazha(p) padindhElOr empaavaay

to the 30th day....
vankak katal kataintha mAthavanaik kEcavanaiththinkal thirumukaththuc cEyiLaiyAr cenRiRainjiankap paRai kontavARRai aniputhuvaipainkamalath thantheriyal pattar pirAn kOthai connacankath thamiL mAlai muppathum thappAmEinkip paricuRaippAr Irirantu mAlvaraiththOLcenkaN thirumukaththuc celvath thirumAlAlenkum thiruvaruL peRRu inpuruvAr empAvAy.
TRANSLATION
-----------------------------------------------------Oh bejewelled girls (nEr izhaiyeer)! Prosperous (chelva) young girls (chiRumeer) of the rich city (seer malgum) of Tiruvoypadi (aaypaadi)! This is the month (thingaL) of December/January (margazhi), an auspicious day (nan naaL) filled (niRaindha) with moonlight (madhi). Those of us who want to go (pOdhuveer) to perform the penance of 'paavai nOnbu' (neeraada), let us go (pOdhumeenO). The Lord (naaraayaNan), who was the son (kumaran) of NandagOpan, who could give a lot of trouble (kodun thozhilan) to enemies using his sharp spear (koor vEl); who was the little lion (iLam singam) of the beautiful (Eraarndha) eyed (kaNNi) YasOda; who is dark (kaar) skinned (mEni); who has perfect (sen) eyes (kaN); and who has a face (mugaththaan) like (pOl) the radiance (kadhir) of the moon (madhiyam); will give (tharuvaan) us (namakkE) his blessings (paRai). Hey (El)! Let us immerse in water (padindhu) and do the penance of 'paavai nOnbu' (Or embaavaai), a practice praised (pugazha) by the people of the world (paarOr).

Songs in praise of matavan kecavanWho churned the trafficked ocean;Songs in celebration of the prayers and gifts obtainedBy the moonfaced and bejewelled maids,Sung by kotai the daughter of the Pattar at Srivilliputtur,Donned in a garland of lotus –Mal the mountain shouldered and noble faced with eyes redBlesses everyone everywhere with His graceThose who recite them in cankat tamil in all piety,And leaves them blessed.The last song of the Tiruppavai formally concludes the series with a mentionof the benefits that accrue to the devotees when they recite the thirtysongs in all piety while the twenty-ninth song has clinched the pavaiobservance.


THINGS TO DO ON BHOGI PONGAL
Traditional Bath
An elaborate oil bath is done at early morning on the Bhogi day.
Drawing of Kolams
After morning bath and rituals, women make beautiful kolams (rangoli). There is sometimes a healthy competition among neighbors on design and size of the kolams. Large kolams are preferred during Pongal.
Some communities place a pumpkin flower in the middle of the kolam.
Cleaning and Burning debris on Bhogi Pongal
The most important activity on Bhogi Pongal is to clean the house, office, surroundings, courtyard and other places. All the broken and unwanted things are removed. The reason for this massive cleaning exercise is to bring new energy into life. It is believed that Uttarayana marks the daytime of the Devas and all auspicious things happen during this period. So all the unwanted things are removed and burned to ashes. Bhogi bonfire is a major activity in the evening.
Caution: Bhogi Pongal and Pollution: In the name of cleaning, people burn plastic, rubber, tyres and non-degradable material causing environmental pollution. Such practices should not be encouraged.
Bhogi Pongal Puja
There is no special puja. Daily poojas and prayers are performed. Farmers do have some rituals like consecrating their tools and doing harvest of paddy and sugarcane.
Purchase for Pongal and coming Year
There is a tradition to purchase new clothes, sugarcane and new vessel to cook pongal on Bhogi day. Some of the old things are replaced. Many people buy new broom, dustpan and other kitchen items on this day.
Food on Bhogi Pongal
A traditional home meal with Mor Kozhambu is prepared in most homes. Some people also prepare kadala parippu poli, Bhogi ama vadai etc. Sweets are also prepared in some houses.
Preparation for Pongal
In most regions, Bhogi day is used to prepare for Pongal, which happens on the next day. It is also the first day in Thai Month. From 2009, Pongal will also be the Tamil New Year day.

Translations: sourced from the Net. But of course......

Past year dedications - a month too late

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My 2007 dedication list:

- To Yuvraj Singh who reinstilled the love of cricket in me...all in the space of 6 balls (Sachin still is a senti fave)
- To Rajinikanth for being the Indian equivalent of the Apple iphone - when a friend from the US bragged about the crowds outside stores to buy the newly launched iphone, I could brag back about the size of crowds outside Satyam Cinemas ...to catch 'Sivaji'!!!
- To Gurgaon and how misleading media hype and selective images of a few tall buildings can mislead you into thinking that this is the most happening city.. the most hi-tec town..the place to be.. and then the coolest thing about the place seems to be the names 'Sector 14, Sector 17 et al'
- To all my friends who keep insisting that Mumbai to Bangalore to Gurgaon is simply NOT DONE unless you are a software engineer ('Dude, get real..you are an Accountant', or so they say)
- To that benevolent Time Management lecturer who let me know that a single day comprises of 86,400 secs and that thought haunts me till date
- To all my Bangalore friends who gave me a very warm farewell (they turned up soon as they learnt I was footing the bill)
- To that Iyengar caterer back in Bangalore through whom I learnt all the delectable Kannada names for various vegetables ("avarakaalu gojju anyone?")
- To my distant cousin in Bangalore who taught me the many ways in which an electric cooker can be used (apart from cooking rice, that is....I have already used it for noodles, heating milk and even toasting bread)
- To all the music reality shows on television which I felt were regressive but turned out to be the best entertainment after a hard days work("Thank you, C for familiarizing me with the contestants names!!") (Come to think of it, maybe I am regressive!!)
- To Sagar Ratna & Naivedyam - who charge a bomb but are still the only authentic South Indian outlets in Gurgaon for "filter kaapi" in steel tumblers to boot!!
- To the Delhi chill that has me covering up myself in blankets twice over without the ceiling fan on and I dare not press the remote button coz its so chilly outside of the blankets
- To Apple - for that wonderful creation called the video ipod - it was so maddening at first not able to download / sync anything at all...but a few hours on the net changed......Life and entertainment
- To the Nokia cellphone and its incessant ringing - now u know what mothers of newborn babies go thru when the baby starts bawling
- To P for making the cut at last and making me proud and also for that sense of nostalgic deja vu
- To all the gorgeous Gurgaon / Delhi girls who make me feel I wish I was born up north
- To MKT Bhagavathar for absolute soul that too when I am thinking Metallica are the coolest
- To A for being such a dear friend
- To AK too...good riddance!!
- To E for being such a wonderful manager and I kept on wondering what drives an European to ride the dusty lanes of Peenya, Bangalore to earn his bread?
- To all my colleagues in different companies who have become such loyal friends though most of them have not remained loyal to the companies that gave birth to our friendship :-))
- To my company coz thats where I earn my bread..though it is frustrating and maddening at several times... Shakespearean stories happen everyday in every MNC across India
- To the absolute lack of time in modern Life (86400 aint enuf for a day..they need to slow down the earth's rotation...let me complete my tasks on time) ...or is it just ME?
- To the skyrocketing stock market since it causes me (and many others, I am sure) a lot of heartburn - again the same old 4 letter word - TIME
- To the internet for free movie downloads - I downloaded Blood Diamond, Kung Fu Hustle and MI III and synced it on my ipod all free - thinking - how cool is that?
- To D & G who still call me and wish me on my birthday though I left that org about ages back
- To Ma and Pa for being so patient and understanding though I am still single and crossed the age limit even given that I am Iyengar and "eligible"
- To "all those OMG moments which simply took my breath away but also instilled in me a deeper understanding of life and a realization that I am Man at last!!
- To all that security in feelings and life that comes with those OMG (Oh my God) moments
- To the aging of the mind as an irreversible process coz it never allows you to be the same person again..challenge is only to change for the better!!

In fact thats been the story of my life last year...actually..its been the same over several years now..but the Race is on and I am game!!

Two birds and a stone

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The Blueline buses are creating a huge menace in Delhi and have already claimed 103 lives so far. Thats still 3 more than the casualty list of our workplace after consuming the food served by our cafetaria.
I think this is a good opportunity to convert a problem into an advantage. I say, why not have the Blueline bus become the Samjhauta bus between India & Pakistan. That way, we have still achieved a diplomatic coup and still have our bus - ferrying Pakistanis though. Wot say?

Alvida

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My time is not my own. Nor is yours yours to belong.

Fact of Matter

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The past is a recycle bin whichever way you think of it. Whatever lessons we had to learn from the past, whatever experiences we had to go thru, its all in the present - in us - in our evolved beings. So junk the past. A positive everyday vision of the future is the biggest high one can get.

Confessions of a compulsive gizmo freak

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I have a confession to make. Always been fascinated by gadgets - especially those economically cheapers ones which still score high on technology. You will get a lot of those in Delhi - my home for the last 6 months. The fascination stems from the fact that these things are so "cheap" its almost like cocking a snook at the Apples and Sonys of the world - "Hey bozos, we do it too and do it cheaper!"

But anyway recently at Dubai, I felt the shopper's itch to buy something from "Duty Free". I was stuck between a Merlin 60 GB MP4 (which actually syncs with TV and records TV programs even as they play back + FM radio + does everything that an Apple Ipod does!!) & a 80 GB Apple Ipod. About an hour of deliberation and no small amount of hardsell from the sales guys (don't understand why since both were priced the same), Apple won me over. I had my reservations even as I got onto the flight and was practically ruing my decision the next morning. Things got worse when I was not able to transfer my CDs/DVDs onto my Ipod. The only thing that worked was the music. Movie downloads from Itunes cost about INR 240 which is still 10 times higher than a rental on a projector screen and way too high for a 3 inch screen. Then one fine evening, I decided to junk up the net for everything that I could find for converting video to Ipod. Hallelujah!! Here I am with my findings:
- Video CD to Ipod - "Check",
- DVD to Ipod - "Check",
- YouTube to Ipod - "Check" (I know I know...it allows you to download from YouTube and then convert),
- Google Video to Ipod - "Check",
cheap 7+1 Delhi Street DVDs to Ipod - "Check" !!!

Dude, that was way too cool. How funny it is when you are running up against a technological wall and then when the answers hit you the next day, you feel on freaking top of the world. Hey man, the Ipod is cool. It rulez!! I would recommend the Koyote Ipod Video Converter and the Videora Ipod Video Converter to all my Ipod junkie friends. Its freeware on the net.

Whenever I think of an alternate life and a different field of work, I go back in history (mine) to that one impressionable instant at 16 years of age where I decided to take up the study of commerce and economics over the lure of the more lucrative options and then go "Oh heck!!" Technology does it for me. Its an everyday challenge to solve this conundrum but hey, I am game.

Sunlight Copper Dreams

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Swift are the wings, flying so high...... ;
Swift are the feet, today they touch the sky!!Swift are our dreams, just so many moments flying by;
Swift is our Life, poof....and its time to die!!!

Adios Bangalore Hola New Delhi

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Well.well...well! Been meaning to post this for quite a while now!! Anyway just to rethread the whole scene, I left Bangalore in mid April and shifted to Gurgaon. Invited a few close friends for my farewell scene.


You can catch more snaps of that event on this link of flickr. Of course the most endearing and ubiquitous symbol of Gurgaon would be the cycle rickshaw. Unfortunately the snap of the cycle rickshaw cannot be uploaded. So I have to desist.
Learned that the car that I crave is on two months waiting and Hero Honda is still the old trustworthy pal who unfailingly accompanies me to office. Ciao for now!!

The writing on THE WALL

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Call 1 - "Hey, didja watch the match?""Yea.. S Africa are a great team!" Call 2 - "Hey, what about the match? How was it?" "Cool, man, Hayden is GOD!" There you have it. Every friend, acquaintance, colleague, passer-by that you want to chitchat cricket with seems to have forgotten India's exit from the World Cup. After all, why remember 2 sleepless nights when there are better things in life to rejoice about. Its almost a rerun of last week when India lost to Bangladesh. When I called up people the next day, they were all asleep. I could guess the agony and the frustration through the night they must have gone through before relaxing in deep slumber now. Somehow cricket brings out the worst face of people too. Just place the mild mannered doctor next door or probably the local milkman in front of a television set during a cricket match involving India and you might probably learn a thing or too in the choiciest vocabulary about bad language and the Indian cricket team. It definitely introduces a sense of unity in the watchers in terms of the emotions that they go through. The funny thing for me was the reaction of people after the Ind-B'desh match. Call 1 - "Hey g'morning, woken up at last!! How did u find the match?" "Great..it was pretty close!""Close? What r u tlking abt? Maan...B'desh won comfortably, right?" "Wot? B'desh? Ireland won against Pakistan!! Thats what I am interested in!!" Cool!! Nobody was interested in talking about India's loss. They had had it in one night. The Pakistan loss was a small consolation. Anyway, thats life!

Just imagine the frenzy that would have been created had Sachin Tendulkar scored the fastest century in the world cup against S Africa!! M Hayden goes about his job as a regular bloke. Now we know the issue. Its extremeties at play that has the Indian effort undone. Which also brings us to the biggest question of the decade.

Whatever has happened to Sachin Tendulkar?

The power to experience and believe

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Its been some time now since it happened. But the sense of nostalgic deja vu that I experienced at that moment has still not left me. Obviously she had struggled a lot to get there. Fighting a despairing loss of self confidence, tremendous family pressure to get married, loss of peer confidence, emotional depression... et al, in short - against all wretched odds. One week before the exams were due to begin, she called me to express her fear at losing out again. Mentioned her total lack of preparation and loss of initiative to get going in life. What was more painful than the admission was that this came from a headstrong girl believed to have a strong character - but then again that was before the rigmarole of the CA exams began. Worse was to follow - just on the penultimate day before the exams were to start - she called me again and broke down lamenting her fate. She did not want to visit the exam center. She was worried about the exams and the invariable depressing results that will follow.
Also I was the only one she could turn to. Obviously parents get tensed up and may not react the way you want them to. So in typical characteristic style, I told her not to lose heart and to consider each day as a new start to life and to begin each moment anew. Words were the only thing I had to offer..not even a crying shoulder, she being in Bombay & I in Bangalore. Anyway, the exams came and went and Priya was totally tightlipped about how she fared. The night before D day, I got a SMS giving her roll number. She wanted me to check her results out on the net. She was too tensed up to try it out herself. She of course had not told Amma & Appa about the results. The tension gripped me too. I was also involved in this. When I checked out the results not in the least expecting her to pass and thinking of the appropriate words to offer on how to cope with failure, reality hit me. Priya had become a CA! I called her up and after several frustrating rings, she took the call with a tense voice. 'What's it?' Hey Priya, have you heard the news?''No..what's it?' A deliberate pause from my side. The pressure on the other end was almost ethereal. 'Priya...brace yourself now...congrats first...you are a CA'. An incredulous 'What? Are you sure (started choking)'. 'Yeah..yeah..its all here in front of me ...unless you have changed your name for the exams (my lame attempt at humour to appear cool & unaffected)'. And then she broke down. I promised to call her later. After half an hour, she was still crying. After 2 hours, she had still not recovered. Funny thing is I kept on calling her knowing exactly what she would be going through. The emotions were so palpable. What does it feel like to know you have come through against the toughest odds? What does it feel like when all the demons in your life seem to vanish in one magic moment? How does it feel to know that you have recovered, restored, regained Life and the zest for it. In the evening, she was still dazed.."Unbelievable, J...I still cannot believe it". I kept on calling her out of my own selfish motive to partake of the ecstasy that had engulfed her. That was it. I was proud of my sister.
Now coming back to the nub, in continuing with the message of the earlier post, language again bows down against Life and its flow. Otherwise how could you justify a single word called 'Ecstasy' for such a range of emotions and expect schoolkids to understand it. Experience it. You will then believe!!

An unconditional apology!

Posted by Jay-talking! |2 comments
Sorry…really, Sorry!

Sometimes you find that no language has the words quite able to express one’s guilt or remorse in the same vein as the feelings in your heart. There are depths of emotion which we strive to communicate through the words of an undeveloped medium of communication. In that sense, the word “Sorry” probably stands for the greatest range of emotions that one can feel. One single word to stand for such a plane of feelings does not seem fair. But that’s how it stands.

Sometimes also, one also comes across situations when you feel the need to take a stand either for or against the self vis-à-vis a greater cause in which others’ feelings are immutably attached. In such a case, to take a decision either way seems very painful. Its catch 22! Simplistically, you can either subserve your own desires and make a heroic sacrifice or you can take a strong non-emotional stand on issues. I have found that there is only one way to approach such questions in Life. Think!! Think!! Think through it – logically, emotionally, of the people involved, of the lesser good, of the greater good and always believe that you have to take a proper stand – make the correct decision. On hindsight, I feel we cannot view any issue very simply and reduce it to a self interest v/s other interest tussle. You consider the time – present & the future, the possibilities – positive and negative, the repercussions – immediate and farreaching, the morals and ethics – have a strong dispassionate sense on this. Ultimately you have to take a decision. Say, to or not to cut off a potter’s infected arms so that he may live for a longer time – for his family, for an alternative profession, for varied desires and dreams – will always be a difficult choice.

But can one deny the guilt involved for the hurt a decision causes (irrespective of whether this decision has probably saved more hurt in future – irrespective of whether this decision is probably the least painful given the grand design of Nature – irrespective of whether this was the last opportunity to take that decision and could not have been postponed)? No. One cannot deny the guilt – because there were opportunities in the past to have taken a decision with less painful effects– because one could have handled things better – because one could have protected someone’s dignity and honour in a more proper way – because one should learn to be firm and clear at all times and all places in dealing with people, communicating with people, reaching out a message and not be iffy about things.

And that’s why for all the hurt, for all the embarrassment, for all the unintended pain, for every single moment that hope was held out, for every dream presented that turned out to be a mirage, for the regret of feeling the way one feels to have caused a hurtful decision, for all the other things felt guilty for and no apologies asked for, for the big, BIG mea culpa, and also for the wretched limited vocabulary of the English language because these 3 words do not seem to quite make the cut – I am sorry!!

Now eat this!!

Posted by Jay-talking! |1 comments
There is another take to the recent survey which concluded that talking on the cellphone when driving is as dangerous as being drunk and driving. Well…there are already a few believers who have concluded gleefully that driving when drunk is not so bad after all. After all, its as safe as talking on the cellphone when driving. Howzzat?

Superman...superman..whither art thou?

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There are comic book superheroes (1970-80), comic book superheroes (1980-90), comic book superheroes (1990-00)………… and then there’s Superman. What makes Superman appealing beyond the obvious fact of his special powers is that there is grandness and nobility in his adventures. Other superheroes like Spiderman have flawed human personas. Batman has his dark side. But you can always trust Superman to take the right decision – the noble decision – the self-effacing decision. This is what is very special about Superman. Many pundits have drawn an analogy to Jesus Christ. I agree. In fact, I have always compared him with Lord Ram. Somehow Superman loses his appeal when you grow older and one tends to get attracted to other superheroes. Superman will always appeal first to a kid because its only at a young age when you are fascinated by a superhero’s invulnerable personality. As you grow older, you tend to identify with more vulnerable heroes since you want them seen in an equal fight. With Superman, the fight will always be with unequals. He can practically carry off anything under the sun. Hence his appeal lies in his powers and his personality – not the stories around him.

I entered the movie hall not expecting to be entertained by “Superman Returns”. How can a Superman story entertain you? You will have to create an implausible story line or a really wacky villain to engage Superman in an interesting duel. But I came out feeling good about the movie. Superman rules!!!

The day I decided to settle down in Life

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It all began in Chennai. One sleepy morning awoken to the fragrance of incense sticks and the refrain of the Subrabhatam. I felt like an absolute zombie. If I was not a slob at that moment, the word never existed. I woke up to the lure of domesticity. Life changed. Memories of all those all-nighters in office shamed me. I thought it was so cool to feel above these pleasures of domestic life. “Not interested in marriage really!! Tell me something interesting.” Oh boy!! That morning I woke up, brushed my teeth (still do retain some good habits of childhood), walked down to the living room and switched on the TV as if on cue. To the disapproving eyes of my uncle and assortment of aunts. Who cares – methought. But then to get soaked in the pure innocence of an orthodox Iyengar morning – to see these aunts rush around the house with incence cones and sticks - chanting their prayers inwardly – towels neatly bunched up on freshly washed hair. Man, I was taken in. Bigtime!! Decided that this was probably the catch. I decided to get married – probably longed for the stability that I felt that day – probably felt settled in that fragrance of those incense cones. Floored!!
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